Spiritless
by SwimmerHair
Summary: Alex is heading back to his hell hole. The only problem is that he's not the carefree child he was.
1. Chapter 1 The Lost Temper

Disclaimer: I, Elizabeth admit that I do not own the Alex rider Series (Sigh)

Alex was sitting at his desk paying only half attention. He had nothing better to do because everything that mattered had been put into grays and blacks since that last mission. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten, you could now see his ribs but he didn't care, because Jack was gone.

He wanted to scream, to shout, to do something, MI6 had said to live through it, not give up, and move on. As if they care. They had never left from behind their desks. They had never seen someone kill himself because of your decision, no, they knew nothing. It was social studies he remembered dimly, not really caring at all what the teacher was saying, only listening in the back of his mind.

The teacher was watching him in the corner of her eye with a little awe that he could demand so much attention by just sitting there looking straight ahead. He knew everyone was staring at him, amazed at what they saw. The young man had slight muscle just enough to be intimating, with amber eyes that whispered to that they had seen too much, that they could kill you with the same face, the indifference that rebels would only dream of one day they might achieve, the emotionless mask that hide you from everything you wanted to know. His hair was just the right length to look amazing on him and scream leave me alone. His mouth was set in a grim line that was deep set as if suggesting that it didn't smile much. He wore Cargo pants that hide inside one of the pockets, a gun. He wore a muscle shirt with a t-shirt on top as if he to make the girls faint.

The teacher, Mrs. Worelock called on Alex trying to catch him not paying attention, but with the same hollowness he answered, "The square root of 69 is 8.30662386"

The teacher started, he hadn't even looked at his calculator, "Yes, Alex, next time pretend to pay attention. Not all of us are as smart as you."  
>-Lunch Time<p>

Alex sat at his table all alone because after Jack died had stopped talking to Tom, he just sat there eating but that was enough to make the school bully, Ted, mad because Alex wasn't doing anything. Ted stormed over and knocked Alex's lunch off the table. Alex, being Alex just looked up once and walked away. This just set off Ted because of the lack of response, he did the unbelievable, and he hit Alex.

Alex looked up slowly and everyone saw Alex's eyes. They turned black and everyone involuntary scooted back. The teachers stayed out curious about what he would do. Some people looked at Tom who seemed to be trying to come closer, his eyes filled with panic. Tom's mouth was open as if screaming an unheard scream. Ted took an uncertain step back as he looked into Alex's usually beautiful amber eyes and saw the killing machine that was hidden deep in the pit of them that had come out to seek vengeance. Alex walked quietly over to Ted looked him in the eye and round house kicked him in the temple. Ted didn't even have time to whimper before he was out cold.

Everyone except for Tom looked at Alex in shock. Tom ran over to Alex as he was about to hit Ted again. "Alex, Alex! ALEX! Snap out of it!" Alex froze where he was. He sat up his eyes changed again till they were amber again. Alex stood up leaving Tom and the stunned cafeteria in the dust. As he walked out, he felt every person's eyes on him.

As he walked around the hallways he saw Crawley. "Get your stuff. Someone notified the police, who told MI6. You're out of here." Crawley muttered gruffly.

In a way Alex was elated to go on a mission, to get away from his crummy life, to be someone else. When he was someone else he didn't have time to hide away in the depths of his brain. He had to act and think about the thing at hand.

"Alex, you are going to BB because want you to do some training." Mr. Blunt stated as if Alex should have known.

"We will be sending you in as some rich man's son, like last time. This time however your parents have no designated time that you will be spending at BB. Also we have arranged that you will be allowed to shoot a gun. Just remember where you were trained." Mrs. Jones supplied not stopping at the brief look of shock from Alex.

"Do you want us to arrange you to be in K-Unit, because you were monitored by one of our insights and did not seem to get along with them." Blunt said obvious to Alex's nervousness.

"Yes sir, how much time do I have to pack? Yes, I can be with K-Unit." Alex asked in monotone.

"You have two hours."

And that was that, Alex was going back to BB the only hell he'd ever known.


	2. Chapter 2 New Arival

Disclaimer: I Elizabeth admit, I do not know the Alex Rider series (Sigh)

Also I would like to thank my amazing beta for putting up with me when she definitely didn't deserve my stupidness. (Is that a word?)

Later that day Alex was in the back of a black sleek expensive car that MI6 liked to use. While his I-pod looking at the other families driving by to a normal person Alex seemed calm, but to the trained eye you could see almost nothing the face mask was that good. But when you looked hard enough you saw the signs of weariness that were strategically hidden within his face.

The car slowed to a stop, and Alex just looked as interested in leaving the car as eating grass, but he put his indifference face on and got up and left the car knowing that someone would move his stuff for him.

Alex walked into the sergeant's office and sat down with a look of boredom.

Sergeant's Point of View

The sergeant looked up in surprise but that soon turned to a look of distaste.

"Cub," The sergeant all but snarled at Alex. Quickly he scanned Alex. Skinny, maybe a little sickly with the clothes falling off his frame, but this hadn't stopped the boy from having muscle; it was there just kind of quiet. But what really stopped him were Alex's eyes. They were the same ember but there were the subtle but big differences in them. They were dead to say the least about them. There was no emotion swirling in his eyes that a trained professional couldn't even hide, it was just gone. The only other thing that you could read in there was the coldness behind them that made you want to shiver. The last person who had had (is that right?) eyes like that were Fox. No….It couldn't be….Could it?

Shaking his head to clear the unruly thoughts he turned to Alex, who hadn't moved a measure to start his rant about how he couldn't just walk in like he owned the place.

Alex's point of view

Alex just stood there watching the sergeant yell while he went over what he had found out. The sergeant had broken his left knee maybe three years ago, and it still pained him, also he favored his right arm and was type to pull on his hair when stressed.

All this Alex saw in an instant taking it and watching the sergeant rant not caring that it was directed to him.

When the sergeant finally round down Alex just said, "Can I go?" At this comment the sergeant was blowing steam at his ears.

"Sure, sure, whatever."

Alex made his way to the k-unit tent and walked in the tent and sat down in my old bed. No one was there yet, so he took a nap.

"What's he doing here?" Snake whispered.

"I don't know. Didn't know he was coming." Wolf murmured

"I did." Fox breathed calmly.

"Not fair." Eagle shouted forgetting to be quiet.

Alex being Alex had been awake and said to Eagle, "Shut the hell up will you." he asked in a deadly calm voice.

"Cub, don't tell your teammates to shut up, it doesn't end well," Fox said going over to his own bunk "And good night."

"Nighty, night to you too," Alex said then closed his eyes leaving the shocked faces in reality.


	3. Chapter 3 The first morning

**Thanks you guys for hanging on with me, I got my cast off but school started and we all know how hard it is to write with school in the way. Thanks again!**

The next morning Alex got up at 4 in the morning unable to sleep anymore. He put his clothes on that he kept for running. Going outside he looked around, where to run, where to run? Screw this. He started running at a sprint not caring where he was going, just going. Alex didn't think, he just ran, he ran for his pain, he ran for his loneliness, he ran for Jack. He had run 15 miles when he finally started slowing down. His lungs were spazing out on him, his legs ached, his throat dry. Though he would never, in the world admit it, he ran to distract him from the cruel world.

When he got back to the tent everyone was slowing moving around squinting trying to see in the darkness of the tent. Changing his face back into emotionless, he sat down on his cot and started changing.

Eagle looked excited, thinking that Alex was going to spill, "Where have you been Mister?"

Hiding from you, he wanted to say but instead said" Running," with a coldness that stiffened Eagle.

Eagle, not easily disappointed asked, "How did you go?"

Alex shook his head in wonder, why does he keep trying? "Only 15,"Alex murmured in a mono tone.

Fox just smiled in no way surprised. Wolf stood up looking most alive of the bunch, 'Let's head out to breakfast."

Everyone nodded and headed out the door. On the way to the mess hall people where looking at Alex, making no effort to hide their curiosity. The people who had seen Alex last time still looked Alex curiously because there was something different about him from the last time. Only a few of the people were close enough to see Alex's eyes and when they looked at them they just nodded and moved on.

In the mess hall Alex put up with the same looks from everyone but this time he just stared back at them making look away in fear. In line the lunch ladies just smiled a pitying smile to Alex and Alex looked away. He couldn't stand those looks anymore then he could stand Jack gone.

At the table he looked down at the food on the table. It wasn't appealing and he wasn't hungry. Pushing the tray away, he looked up at his team mates around him. Wolf looking like he was going to hit something and staring was daggers at Alex like he was responsible for being here. In a way it was, and on that thought Alex turned away in shame. Fox was eating calmly looking around the room evaluating everyone in for danger. Snake seemed to be almost snarling at the people who were looking at Alex funny.

**Sorry, I should make it longer but I wrote this in a day and kind of hate it. This was just another filler chapter more will come soon! Promise. Here's a poem I read once on a fanfic. It fits here perfectly.**

**If I should die before you wake.**

**Don't you cry, don't you ache**

**Nothing every yours to keep**

**Close your eyes and go to sleep**


End file.
